DO FOR ONE NYC
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Mission Statement
Do For One is a relationship-building program that brings isolated people into greater community life. We selectively match one person with developmental disabilities (‘partner’) with another person who enjoys a more socially included life (‘advocate’).
About This Cause
By selectively matching one person with disabilities with another person who enjoys a more included life, we promote true belonging for people with disabilities through the power of relationships. Friendship, spokesman-ship, social support, and social change can emerge when people's gifts and concerns are brought into the center of community life. WHY DO FOR ONE? New York City surrounds us with ambitious, hardworking, fascinating people. It is a fast paced environment, offering the best of the best to see and do. Its cultural aspirations make it one of the most exciting places to live in the world. It can also be the loneliest and most challenging. Where power, beauty, talent, intellect, and money are valued, those who cannot readily provide them go overlooked. In fact, the exclusiveness in sorting what and who is on top – and what our relationship is to them – pushes attention away from marginalized people. Of the 8.5 million people here, it’s estimated that over 900,000 people live with disabilities. Lack of accessible transportation and affordable housing, unequal education, and unemployment are only some of the common issues people with disabilities face. These individuals often go neglected and are left with no means of connecting with people in their community or making friends. A man with cerebral palsy was once asked, “What’s the most challenging [in your life]: housing, employment, or relationships?” His answer was, “Definitely relationships.” There is simply no substitute for freely given friendships, occupational and community relationships, or even passing encounters with new people. Unfortunately, many of us have developed discomfort by not having enough contact with disabled people. Perhaps this is because unpredictable and peculiar behaviors don’t fit into our picture of diversity. While this may seem insignificant at first glance, it is a serious problem. People with disabilities are often: • Decreased in social status • Moved involuntarily and separated from others • Excluded from commonplace socializing • Denied personal agency over their lives • Exposed to abuse and neglect Conditioned to these circumstances and suffering hurt from bad relationships, people with disabilities typically have a distrust toward new relationships. At the prospect of making a friend who is there with no obvious obligations, many peel back with reluctance. The symptoms of wounding manifest in different ways; but their underlying question is often, “Am I really lovable like that?” OUR MODEL Starting with the one in need, we creatively form relationships and weave together new supportive connections. 1. We expand, or build entirely, a disabled person’s Natural Supports network. We ally with associates who refer us to people with disabilities in need of friendship and Natural Support. These associates may include Human Service professionals, religious organizations, family members, and others in contact with viable Partners. 2. We recruit Advocates. Do For One engages with people interested in forming a long-term relationship with Partners. We thoughtfully vet and train Advocates from within our trusted networks to become part of our program. 3. We create community. Hosting gatherings and events is our way to create bonding experiences for people with and without disabilities, and strengthen support networks. 4 We match people. Based on the needs and interests of the Partner, we find Advocates with relevant competencies and interests to get to know them and form a long-term bond. 5. We provide training and ongoing assistance. We work directly with each match, ensuring the relationship is suitable and supported. “We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It's easy to say "It's not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem." Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes.” - Fred McFeely Rogers WHAT DO ADVOCATES DO? Advocates enter their Partner’s life to respond to that person’s needs and interests through an authentic and freely given relationship. A relationship can start with eagerness, excitement, and novelty. In time, that relationship deepens in trust and reciprocity. Advocates can • Share time with Partners in activities and conversation • Help their Partner develop their talents and interests • Assist in achieving a goal their Partner may have • Bring their Partner into social, public, and community engagement • Provide a sense of safety and belonging through moral support Advocates will choose, along with their Partner, the personal investments, contents, and direction of the relationship. A growing number of relationships will have lasted a long time. However, some will be arranged for a specific, short-term purpose. Advocates will often benefit from such engagements as much as the person with disabilities. The relationships that Do For One facilitates are organic and mutual. Yet the uniqueness of the pairing – one person with greater dependence on another – invites challenges that can be unforeseen. For example, Advocates might not know how to navigate the Human Service system their Partner already receives support from. Questions arise: How might I approach arranging accessible, reliable transportation? How can quality time with my Partner be integrated into my busy life? What are ways I can better understand the way my Partner communicates? Do For One remains available for ongoing support, brainstorming, coming up with realistic strategies for accomplishing goals, and provide advice as Advocates define roles and boundaries in the relationship. Our support is customized to the nature of each person’s involvement with us. Across the city – in homes, restaurants, places of worship, art museums, bookstores, theaters, and parks – Do For One relationships are bringing new life to New York. We are bringing New York into people’s lives. OUR VISION Our vision is a future where the world is keenly aware of the problems people with disabilities face. That knowledge prompts radical personal action to address those needs. Inclusion replaces exclusion, as communities grow in strength and diversity.