FAMILIES NEED FATHERS LIMITED
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Mission Statement
Families Need Fathers is a shared parenting charity providing support to parents and grandparents in maintaining relationships with their children and grandchildren after separation or divorce. We offer a range of support services including a national Helpline, regular peer support at branch meetings, online forums, factsheets on behaviour, family law and court procedures as well as many of the more common difficulties that separating parents experience. We also seek to promote avoidance of conflict and improvements to the family justice system, culture, legislation and government and social policies that make it difficult for separated parents to collaborate in sharing parenting after separation. We encourage and promote research into aspects of family separation and note that most available research shows that children have far better outcomes on a range of wellbeing measures when both parents are involved in their lives, whether together or apart.
About This Cause
Families Need Fathers Ltd (FNF) is the UK’s leading Shared Parenting charity. Every year in the UK, approximately 80,000 families with children break up every year. There are around 50,000 applications to family courts every year and the number is increasing. A million children are growing up without their father in their lives. Few separated families in the UK share parenting equally after separation and thousands of Non-Resident Parents (NRPs) find themselves having to fight to maintain relationships with their children after separation. Yet leading countries such as Sweden have meanwhile led the way and over the last 25 years have made shared parenting arrangements the norm, with over 40% sharing parenting equally after separation. Research consistently shows how shared parenting benefits children’s emotional and psychological wellbeing. Latest studies in Sweden show that the best outcomes for children are in nuclear families and where there is joint parental care post-separation. In the UK almost half of separated families seek resolution through the courts; in Sweden just 2% do.. FNF have for 47 years been providing support to separated and separating families, primarily to non-resident parents seeking for their children to maintain healthy relationships with them. Our support comprises emotional support, guidance on the options available, avoidance of court and support in the workings of family law, proceedings and processes. We promote people coming to agreements amongst themselves or using mediators, with the courts used as a last resort. However, sometimes courts are the only available route for parents. Unfortunately, our adversarial legal system usually adds to tensions and results in damaging delays. Furthermore, the lack of expertise by court advisers and judges in many aspects of working with separated families leads to poor outcomes in a significant proportion of cases. These difficulties are further compounded by an outdated culture, not least amongst professionals involved, that accepts mums as primary carers and dads as providers. Our legislative and fiscal structures also tend to support this e.g. by giving all child benefits to the parent with 51% of care time and by not offering the same parental leave to employees of either gender. In 2012 a Bill was passed (LASPO) by the government stopping Legal Aid in private family law proceedings other than in cases involving allegations or findings of domestic violence or abuse. The Act came into force on 1 April 2013. As a result, there are increasing numbers of litigants who are representing themselves as Litigants in Person (LIPs). This change has put more pressure on the family justice system and, above all, upon both parent litigants. At Families Need Fathers we understand the practical difficulties that non-resident parents face in maintaining relationships with their children after separation. We understand the obstacles and deficiencies of the family justice system and the many barriers that litigants face. We understand the financial toll that proceedings can have on both parents. We understand too, the emotional and psychological effects on both parents, especially non-resident parents, but above all we understand the damage that is often done to children who have found themselves caught-up in family disputes and forced to take sides. FNF’s June 2016 survey findings show that, over and above emotional and procedural support, our service users’ the biggest issues are: • Parental Alienation • Enforcement of Orders • Unfounded Allegations FNF is developing plans for how best to meet these needs with an over-arching focus on avoidance of conflict wherever possible. Parental Alienation This comprises patterns of abusive behaviours that cause children difficulties with maintaining relationships with non-resident parents and even other family members. Unchecked it may often result in long-term psychological harm that persists beyond childhood. It can lead to total loss of child-parent relationships, difficulties in forming healthy relationships, low self-esteem and generational transference of alienating behaviours. Enforcement Most parents comply with Child Arrangements Orders of the court. However, for many, including most long-term FNF service users, obtaining a Child Arrangements Order can be the start of their difficulties as if the Parent with Care fails to comply. Enforcement of orders in such situations is extremely poor and patchy (around 2%!) and creates exceptional difficulties for parents and damaging delays. Unfounded Allegations FNF have great empathy with parents of any gender who have been the subject of abuse or coercive behaviour by their ex-partners. However, situations where unfounded or entirely bogus allegations are made are exceptionally difficult for the non-resident parent. Each of these areas are high on FNF’s list of priorities and FNF continues to develop support and relevant services. FNF services include a national Helpline, peer support at branches and online, courses on relevant subjects such as Parental Alienation, Enforcement of Child Arrangement Orders and parenting along with access to online resources. Our aims are focussed on: 1. Reducing family conflict 2. Promoting shared parenting 3. . Campaigning for better outcomes for children and parents 4. Assisting with managing court proceedings FNF have and will continue to develop resources and understanding of the issues for parents around sharing of parenting. We will seek to shape family related legislation, policies and training of the professionals involved. Our aim is to maintain child-parent relationships, make situations manageable, reduce depression through direct and online support and help professionals in improving short and long term outcomes for children. Our Values Driven by the needs of people seeking to maintain family relationships with children after separation/divorce, we are passionate that both parents matter and that there should be a presumption of shared parenting arrangements. Through support we will act as an enabler of change. Through research, discussion and constructive input we challenge and are open to challenge. We are open to possibilities to develop, achieve and get the most from our resources. We strive to reduce family tensions and we recommend alternatives to court wherever possible. We are working to influence change in the behaviour of individuals and institutions through persuasion and education in order to bring common sense and equality to separation and divorce in the UK.