THE TRISTESSE GRIEF CENTER, INC.
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Mission Statement
The Tristesse Grief Center offers an innovative approach to address Northeast Oklahoma's need for comprehensive, long-term grief counseling for children and adults. Our entire business model focuses on our mission to assist the bereaved as they journey towards improved health and renewed sense of worth in the wake of loss. We are committed to providing meaningful programs based on well-documented needs and ongoing measurement. An independent, 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, The Tristesse Grief Center depends upon the support of foundations, businesses, individuals and other organizations in order to offer counseling services to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay.
About This Cause
Founded in 2002, the Tristesse Grief Center (TGC) was born out of the vision and inspiration of a courageous 14-year-old girl, named Tristesse, who struggled with cancer for 6 years. While facing her own death, her primary concern was how her loved ones would cope. Her compassion and insight propelled those close to her to open The Tristesse Grief Center. TGC is the only non-profit in northeast Oklahoma dedicated solely to provision of professional grief counseling services. Our services include: • Individual, couple, and family grief counseling. • Grief support groups for adults and children, such as child loss, spousal loss, sibling loss, and parent loss. • School-based and community-based groups for children. • Grief Education and training for schools, hospitals, businesses, churches, and nonprofits. • Community memorial events such as Hike for Healing, Tinsel & Tears, When the Holidays Hurts, National Suicide Awareness Day, National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and Children’s Grief Awareness Day. • Sensitivity training provided to corporate and small business Human Resource departments. • Crisis Response and Intervention Services. Our Mission. To provide professionally facilitated support groups, individual counseling and special programs for grieving children, teens and adults, and to be the primary community resource for providing comprehensive grief support, advocacy and education. To create a caring community where grieving families know they are not alone, to provide a safe place to come to grieve the death and celebrate the lives of loved ones. Since our inception, The Tristesse Grief Center has provided a variety of comprehensive programs and services to meet the needs of grievers of any age. Each of our programs is specifically designed to address the unique needs of individuals, families, and support communities in their journey through grief. As we promoted and improved our programs, we listened carefully to the community to identify additional opportunities to meet bereavement needs not being addressed in northeastern Oklahoma. Unfortunately, we learn early in life that society actively avoids the mention of death. We constantly receive both direct and indirect messages to “get over” a death rather than to “work through” the loss. Burdened with subtle pressure to grieve quickly and quietly, many people feel isolated from their peers, reluctant to talk about their emotions, or simply try to ignore dealing with the loss causing grief to go unresolved. After the death of a loved one, research shows the bereaved are at risk for future physical, emotional and social problems, especially if they have difficulty coming to terms with their grief and reinvesting in the future. For example, unresolved grief issues lead to depression, substance abuse, behavior problems, poor job and school performance, and disruption of and impaired ability to commit to long-term relationships. Unresolved grief can also lead to social isolation, psychological issues and physical health problems that ripple throughout our community. The high cost and unavailability of professional grief counseling compounds the tragedy and becomes an unbearable social and economic burden for the community. This was never truer than for Brittany. Brittany was an active high school junior with a bright future. Her father ran the family business, her mother was a stay-at-home mom actively involved in Brittany’s school life including cheerleading, basketball and other social outlets. Brittany was an accomplished student and had her future set. That all changed the day that Brittany’s father shot himself. Shortly after his death, the family learned their business was bankrupt and the family’s health and life insurance premiums had not been paid in the last 6 months. Immediately, Brittany and her mother were without financial means to provide for necessities. Brittany’s mother removed herself from Brittany’s life and began drinking heavily. Brittany, with no car to drive, found herself trapped at home without support. Her grades began to drop, she was unable to focus on school work or school activities, and she began to have debilitating headaches and showed significant signs of depression. Brittany was unable to even talk about her father’s death – especially not that he had died by suicide – because she was afraid her friends would no longer like her. She felt alone and out of touch after her father’s death. While her friends were worried about what to do for the upcoming weekend, she worried about what to do with the rest of her life – even to the point of contemplating suicide. Without insurance, she had no idea how to find professional counseling or support for herself or her mother. Brittany showed signs of giving up. Fortunately, the school counselor identified Brittany’s struggles and encouraged her to attend The Grief Center’s Healing Hearts Club, a free program for Brittany and the school, and hosted on the school campus. Brittany enrolled in the 8-week program. This interactive grief support program became a new focus for Brittany. After several months of secret keeping, Brittany was finally able to confide in her peers that her father died by suicide. Her “confession” was met with support and encouragement by teens she now considers to be among her very best friends. With new friends in her circle, Brittany was no longer isolated, “stuck” at home, and suffering in silence. Through the Healing Hearts Club, Brittany found her voice and realized she was not alone in her struggles. She was able to gain a new sense of balance, strength, acceptance, and empowerment. Now two years later, Brittany is attending a local University and is on track to graduate with honors. Brittany is a success story. But there are still hundreds of unserved children, teens and adults in our community because, beyond the first days following a death, limited support is available in Tulsa for grieving children and adults. Affected by the death of a loved one, many people struggle with the devastating effects of grief – many with inadequate family support, lack of education about the grief process, and the unavailability of community resources. Without tools to manage distressing emotions following the death of a loved one, secondary and intangible losses such as divorce, family relocation, family financial challenges, job loss, incarceration of a caregiver or other developmental challenges, the bereaved community is at risk and struggling. The Grief Center had an overwhelming number of service requests to fill in 2013 which impacted more than 4,243 (unduplicated) people – remarkably provided on a budget of about $1,000 per day. We continue to apply our original business model - never turn anyone away due to inability to pay. However, in order to do so, TGC must continue to secure additional funding to increase the number of available professional counseling sessions for those who have no ability to pay.